Mark Sibilia

Cleaned by: Julia Pappo

Transcribed by: Temi

Mark Sibilia: Born in Israel.

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So you were younger by how much

Speaker 2 (00:03):

Than Victor? 13 years now. <laugh> sorry.

Speaker 1 (00:10):

And you were born

Speaker 2 (00:11):

In,

Speaker 1 (00:12):

In Israel, in

Speaker 2 (00:13):

Israel where in, uh, I believe it was Tebo or <inaudible> or something like that.

Speaker 1 (00:19):

And where was your family living at that

Speaker 2 (00:22):

Time? <inaudible>

Speaker 1 (00:23):

Uhhuh <affirmative>. And what are some of your early memories?

Speaker 2 (00:29):

Oh, where would you like to start? Uh, you know, living in Israel, uh, going to school, like a regular kid, but, uh, living in a beautiful home. Uh, we had a garden with probably 50 fruit trees that you could, you know, anything you can imagine from peaches to, uh, you know, to, uh, to mangoes, to, uh, Shafi she's plumbers, plums, yeah. And yellow ones and red ones and black ones. And we used to have a tree, a Tut AADE tree, a tooth, which was like a huge tree, which we turned into a, um, uh, I used to, uh, with the kids swing. I, I built a swing and swung that and used to climb it all the time. Um, of course I was the youngest. So, uh, my parents decided to become religious, um, full blown religion. I went to Yeshiva in Israel. So of course I used to have to go to synagogue all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:34):

And, uh, you know, of course everything that goes with all the holidays and the Friday nights and everything I, my father was, I think, I think my father was very proud that he had somebody with him to go and do all those things. And, uh, and then every Shabbat, you know, after Shabbat lunch, we would walk to the beach. We moved to Tel Aviv to, uh, Batam when I was, uh, I guess, uh, grade one grade one, so six, seven years old, we moved to Batam and then, uh, go to the beach, every Shabbat with my dad. And then of course, during the summers be at the beach all summer with my friends. So yeah, growing up in Israel and lots of friends, you know, uh,

Speaker 1 (02:23):

You said you remembered a lot of stories that your mom would've told you.

Speaker 2 (02:28):

Yes. My, my mom, uh, would take me to all these Arab movies, uh, Egyptian movies. And I remember a singer called, um, Calum and, uh, there's actually a movie that came out int this year about, um, Calum, which we need to go and see, but, uh, yeah, so I, I remembered and you know, it was all, it was the whole, now that I'm thinking about it, what it actually meant for me at the time, at the time, I was probably nuisanced by, by going with my mom, to, with her friends to movies. But when I think about it now, it was pretty, it was pretty interesting because you really got to understand, you know, they brought their culture from Egypt to Israel. They, they, they did the same thing. They spoke the same language. They spoke in Arabic all the time. They played cards, you know, they cooked together.

Speaker 2 (03:17):

They sewed together. My, my mom was an amazing seamstress. She really was. And, uh, she would take me along with her to places where she'd go for a whole day and sew the woman seven, eight dresses in one day. And, uh, so my mother and I were very close and, uh, I, you know, she would tell me all the stories, you know, about Egypt and, and how they grew up and what type of life they had and about my grandfather. What do you remember about those story? Oh, you know, my mom, the way she says it lived the life of Queens. I mean, you know, she had a maid all the time from the day she was married, she had a maid and, you know, and, and that maid basically did everything for her. So she was a lady of leisure, you know, going to lunches with the girls and, uh, really having a good life.

Speaker 2 (04:09):

And, uh, you know, every Saturday night her and my dad would go out dancing and, and they would, they would go to, you know, either people's homes for parties or, or they would go to, like I said, there, you know, it was so many, my brother, my, my father had, I think, nine brothers and sisters and my mother had eight. So there was always an anniversary. There was always a, a wedding. There was always a bar mitzvah and, and there was always what they call HLU. Right. That did get the whole family. And, and did they call it HLU? Absolutely. Absolutely. They used to do huge and, you know, cookouts, I mean, you know, the Egyptian women's, they just loved to cook, so, you know, they would come in and they would just, literally my mom and her friend cooked my whole bar mitzvah and they were like, I think 350 people, she cooked everything.

Speaker 2 (04:58):

She didn't have no catering <laugh> so, you know, it's from the, you know, the, the little cookies to the, to the little, Kebas the little pieces of fish. So she was an amazing cook. I've been blessed all my life. I've had women that really cooked well <laugh>. And, uh, what did you like that she cooked? Oh my God. So many, so many Molo was huge. You know, her fish or Moroccan fish was signature. Um, she would cook SCU. CCUs was a Friday night favourite, you know, and on Shabbat she would put Dina, have you ever heard of Dina with, you know, that she would cook from Friday night all the way on the, on the hot plate and, uh, you know, and, and she really, um, yeah, she was, she was an amazing cook baking. Oh, we, we couldn't finish a meal without having, you know, all these wonderful, you know, cookies that she was constantly making. Yeah. There was always, uh, my father walked around with a belly out to there. <laugh>

Speaker 1 (06:10):

And what stories did she tell about life back in age, Asia.

Speaker 2 (06:17):

You know, like I said, she, she had, she had a life of leisure. She really did. She, um, you know, she, I, I don't think, you know, to, to what my brother said earlier, I can understand a little bit of what he said, because my parents weren't very children driven. Like we are in our generation, you know, let's, let's drive, you know, I, I could have put my head on with three, you know, with three kids, my parents never took me to anything. Never went to camp, never went to, I was on my own, you know, so they, I, I can sort of understand that they weren't very busy with us, but she had the help <laugh>, you know, uh, and in Israel growing up, it's all friends. It's like, you don't need parents, you know, it's like, you become a street kid very fast, right. Because just different energy in Israel, you know, the kids, you know, they, they, they bond very quickly, very quickly. And, uh, I mean, my friends from, uh, grade one, I'm still friends with 'em, you know, I still go to see them when I go to Israel. So it's, it's a very, uh, it's a very close culture. I guess

Speaker 1 (07:26):

You said something about how your parents would've disciplined, uh, your brother versus

Speaker 2 (07:31):

You. Oh yeah, yeah. Again, it, it just goes basically to the culture, the way, the way the Egyptians, you know, like you always hit, you never spoke, you never explained, okay, son, you know, uh, let me just take you to the corner and not embarrass you in front of the whole thing there, we just give you one run straight across the face, you know, or, or, or hit you in, in a very violent way, because they were reactive. And, and that was the sort of the, the Arabic mentality that was the Arabic mentality. And, you know, and

Speaker 1 (08:02):

Also among Egyptian Jewish family.

Speaker 2 (08:04):

Yeah. Because, well, they immersed in, in, in that. So you, you kind of become, it's not foreign to you, right. Because cuz everybody does it. I mean, I, I remember I was not even 10 years ago and I walked into my sister's synagogue when I went to visit and this guy just gave his kid one hit across the face. He smacked him on the ground and the kid was like, I eight, nine years old. And that's like today, like 10 years ago. So you can see that some of it is still there. Some of that culture of discipline, you know, completely different than the Western culture.

Speaker 1 (08:41):

And you weren't treated that

Speaker 2 (08:42):

Way. No, my father never touched me, never touched me. My mom would just warn me, wait, when your dad comes home. And that would be enough. That was a suck, you know? Well, the young kid is always, you know, not, doesn't have to really prove himself to anyone cuz all his brothers and sisters are, you know, my brother was my idol. I mean, I thought don't forget my brother left the house when he was like 14 years old. So, and he's uh, I was a year old. I, I, I think he left when I was a year old. So I, I don't ever remember living with my brother. So my brother was like a mystical figure somewhere and you know, him and God were like on the same level, you know? So when he came home, oh my big brother came home. And I mean, he, you know, I remember he came from the war one day and he brought me his Uzi and I got under the table and I was like, took me an hour to load it and just to click it.

Speaker 2 (09:38):

Oh my God. It was an amazing feeling, you know? Um, but uh, you know, so, so I didn't have a very close relationship with my brother, but I looked up to him so much. So, you know, coming to Canada was a complete different switch cuz I lived with him, you know, I came in to live with him for, and, and we moved to, to Toronto from Montreal. So I was with him for, I think a couple of years before my, my, my parents, you know, came over, my mom stayed in Montreal. We came here. So my brother and I had a very interesting relationship. Um, but, and, and my, my, you know, my sister who is six years older than me, she brought me up, she was my mother. I mean, she would discipline me. She would, uh, you know, treat me to the movies. She would, you know, she would buy me the FAF fellow Saturday night, you know, where everybody was there. So, um,

Speaker 1 (10:33):

Let me ask you, do you consider yourself, so

Speaker 2 (10:36):

I think so.

Speaker 1 (10:37):

And in what way is that in your life?

Speaker 2 (10:40):

More, more from the, uh, religious and more from the prayer side of things? I mean, you know, in Israel, unlike my brother, I probably did not feel the far, you know, I, I never, I never had, you know, uh, this come in my life. I don't know. I, I never even, I mean, you know, you hear the, the stories about, you know, she didn't get the job cuz she's FDI eye and this, and, and, and for sure you, you hear it, but on me, I never really felt it because my half, my friends were Ascham, you know? And, uh, it's not like I couldn't go to their houses when all the other friends went in. So I, I was never excluded because I was FDI. So, but from a perspective of being as FDI, because I went to FDI, you know, uh, uh, synagogue. And as, as you heard, I, I picked up on my father's Hazan. My father was a very well known Hazan in Israel. He was, um, he was on the radio, he was doing the SL hot, uh, for Han and KPU. They, they called him and I'm dying to get that, that tape. My sister is still searching at <inaudible>, but, uh, yeah, he was an amazing, uh, Hazan and on a whole, he talked

Speaker 1 (11:56):

To you,

Speaker 2 (11:57):

Well, you, you, you stuck by him while you grew up. You just, you just kind of learned it, you know? And then once in a while they let you do Alvi or they let you do one of the prayers. Right. So you, you learn on the go <laugh>, you know? And,

Speaker 1 (12:13):

And what about you and your life today? What, what elements would you say are part of felony tradition?

Speaker 2 (12:23):

Uh, you know, there is, you know, my wife calls it my God when you get together with so, and so you change your tone, <laugh> you change the way you speak, you use different words, you know, it, it kind of takes you back to that element of, you know, the man's Egyptian, he's a friend of mine and I knew how he grew up. Like I grew up, so we have our own little culture, right. So when we get together, it's, it's a FOIC evening, right? Where if I go to a wedding or anything like that, it's just a regular. So I guess from a perspective of who, who are your friends and how do you really, um, you know, my wife is Ashkenazi, but, uh, she cooks everything, you know, from Kuku to Mo to, to fish, to everything. So I don't miss that from that perspective. But, uh,

Speaker 1 (13:16):

What about things you passed on to your kids?

Speaker 2 (13:21):

Um, you know, I think that as kids get older, they go back to their origin as they get older and older, they, and I see that, I see that my son, my son had a GRA a daughter this year. So I'm a SBA finally, thank you. And he has completely changed in the last eight months. He's completely changed, you know, and I can see him becoming more and, and he has no reason to feel Aldi at all because his mother is Ashkenazi and you know, his, his birth mothers. But, but I see, I see little things in him that make him that, that, you know, Sephardic, you know, person, uh, you know, the slang that he uses, you know, and when we're together having a beer, he speaks that different language. You know, I don't know if he does it to make me happy or whatever, but, you know, but, but my young son, zero Zech <laugh> I passed nothing to them from mye father

Speaker 1 (14:25):

Uhhuh. Yeah. Uhhuh. But he does not yet have children.

Speaker 2 (14:28):

No, no, no, no. He's just, he's got two masters and he is, he's brilliant. And you know, he's in his own little space. <laugh>, mm-hmm,

Speaker 1 (14:36):

<affirmative> anything else we've left out that you think we should know about, about life in Egypt, about the family?

Speaker 2 (14:48):

You know, I, I, again, from stories that my mom said, they used to, you know, like they used to have a great really, really great life. They, you know, it surrounded entertainment. They, they were always being entertained, whether they're going out to, like, my uncle was, was one of the top ping pong players in, in, in Chi, in, in, uh, in, in Egypt, you know? And, and I played with him, you know, I had the honor of playing with him and, you know, I always saw pictures of my uncles and like in, in a field, either playing. So like, there's all, a lot of pictures that just really showed that they had a great life. Like there were always like, and there's always be three or four brothers and sisters, you know, together going out somewhere outdoors. And, uh, you know, they just had a really great life. And, uh, you know, so every time I heard all the stories about the Holocaust, it was always going, my God, my parents were so lucky. They didn't have any of that.

Speaker 1 (15:45):

They weren't afraid.

Speaker 2 (15:48):

No. Like my father worked for a bank. He was like, walk, you know, my mother said to me, he would walk in like, uh, PO do, uh, you know, like a Messe. Right. And she said to me, you know, my, your, and, and I know because to the day he died, used to come and visit my kids with a suit and tie. I go dead <laugh>, you know, but that's where he was. And he got that from being in Egypt. Right. Like that's how he grew up. And you know, all my uncles, you saw, some of the pictures are always, they come to visit their father. They come dressed in a suit and a tie. And it's like, you know, it was a very kind of, um, a culture that really wanted to live good life, really to live the good life. And I even, when, when growing up in Israel, you know, we had all these huge celebrations and there were always all the ants and all the uncles and, you know, so much, I, I think it gave us so much, you know, again, I didn't realize it at the time, but now I'm looking back, I'm going, man, you were so lucky.

Speaker 2 (16:50):

I used to have an uncle who used to come and used to have, he was driving a truck with, with vegetables and, and fruits and, and he would come and, and to my grandmother, if there was a big celebration and, you know, after everybody comes from synagogue and have a big lunch for 40 people who would come with a truck and take all of us to the beach, you know, <laugh>, and that was an amazing experience, right. Where my aunt who lived in France would come, you know, uh, once a year she brought gifts for everybody and we just couldn't wait for Adula to come to come and, and give us our gift, whether it was like a pair of running shoes or, or anything. It was just a, she thought of every grandchild. And, and it was like, you know, it just made you feel very special. And, and, you know, so growing up, looking back, I, I think we're very lucky to have a very close family. And I mean, if you ask my kids, you know, or my wife, what's, Mark's most important thing in life. It's about dinner by far.

Speaker 1 (18:03):

Why?

Speaker 2 (18:04):

Cause they all come over and you, uh, you just get to, to be a family and, and you talk about anything and everything. And whether it's arguments about who should be the president or prime minister to, you know, discussions about politics or, or, or religion, or, or, you know, my scientist's son always brings in the science part of it, but it's a, it's really good energy. It's really good energy, you know? And, uh, so yeah, you know, I invited my Egyptian friend to, to, we had 28 people for Rohan and he said to me, you've created a legacy. And after he left, I said, what legacy? These are my kids, you know, but I guess when you look at it and you think it's so precious, you know, having children, and now that I have a granddaughter, nobody's important anymore.

Speaker 1 (19:03):

<laugh> but you inherited a legacy also.

Speaker 2 (19:07):

Well, a again, I, I think the reason I feel that is because I grew up with that, you know, it's kind of instilled in you that, that when, you know, when my brother says, what are you doing Friday night, come over for dinner. I'm like elated. I'm like so lucky, right? That, that you can still share that type of relationship with, with somebody who's your brother, you know,

Speaker 1 (19:36):

Wonderful. If you had a message to leave to somebody who might be seeing this tape a long time, hence what would it be?

Speaker 2 (19:47):

Uh, learn a lot about, you know, Egyptian family culture and just follow it because it's really very special. It's, you know, family is everything. And, uh, you, you know, if you give your family What you've inherited, you'll get it back a thousand times.

Speaker 1 (20:15):

Thank you. Thank

Speaker 2 (20:15):

You.